6 Things I Wonder About Food

23 Jan

Inspired in part by WordPress blog 1000 Awesome Things and its forays into food, I’ve decided to make my own list. These are things that make us scratch our heads, debate about, or even lose sleep over.  They’re pretty simple things that all the same make us wonder for hours. Thinking before you chew never was trickier.

  1. Would it be possible to seal things with peanut butter? Like air ducts. Or glass cracks. There’s the familiar feeling of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of your mouth; unless you get a glass of milk, stat, there’s no hope over ever curing this form of clamp-mouth. If it wasn’t for liquid nourishment, who knows, it could be stuck forever. You know how it seals sandwiches perfectly. Fluffernutters are pretty much insulation on white bread. I think it’d work, as long as you’re starting small. Seal up cracks in a pot before patching that leak in the space shuttle.
  2. Is a crustless quiche really just a big omlette? Quiche, a baked egg and vegetable dish, usually looks like a pie when there’s a crust. There’s plenty of crustless varieties that really just look like a flat-ish egg with vegetables in it. There’s no poofy top like a souffle has, so that’s out. My suspicions would call a flat egg with stuff in it an omlette.
    Omlette? Quiche? We report, you decide. [Photo Courtesy of Are You Hungry]

    Omlette? Quiche? We report, you decide. [Photo Courtesy of Are You Hungry]

  3. Why is Nutella advertised as a part of a healthy breakfast? You’ve seen this commercial. Just slather some of this hazelnut spread on toast, serve with an orange, voila! It’s part of your well-balanced meal that begins your day! I’ve always grown up with the assumption that chocolate spread between bread is called cake, and cake is never an acceptable part of a complete breakfast. Unless it’s your birthday.
  4. If that’s a nonpareil, what’s a pareil? 05001AgThese are awesome snacks at the movies, if only because of how confusing they are. The dots are what make these crunchy and fun, but are they what makes the chocolate “nonpareil”? The word means “not equaled,” but anyone who’s prepared for the SAT or has licked a cherry-scented marker knows that “non” usually means the opposite of something. A non-toxic marker won’t get you sick, but probably doesn’t taste like cherries anyways.
  5. Why do corner pieces of the brownie pan taste so much better? Ah, the glorious moment when the baked goods tray gets cut into. There’s nothing quite like fresh brownies from the oven. But while we enjoy the soft, squishy center pieces, the subtle crispness of the corner piece is why the front of the line is a coveted place. Maybe its from the contact with the pan, maybe the outside is always done a little, or maybe there’s an army of oven elves that craft and design the outside pieces as their life’s calling. Whatever it is, the corner pieces are what make brownies un-cakelike. There’s now a commercially-available way to always have dibs on the corner piece.
  6. Who’s actually behind the Burger King King mask?
Kind of looks like Warren Beatty.

Kind of looks like Warren Beatty

Um. Actually, I’d probably sleep better not knowing who that is.


2 Responses to “6 Things I Wonder About Food”

  1. Queen of the Food Age February 1, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    1. The only problem with peanut butter sealant is what happens when it rains?
    2. I’ve always thought of quiche as being a snooty omelet, so I’m going to go with “yes.”
    3. Cake for breakfast is amazing and one of the few perks of being an adult.
    4. Sno-Caps are like my #2 favorite candy.
    5. Elves. Definitely elves.
    6. Dear God, why did you do that to me.

    • trwerner February 1, 2013 at 4:12 pm #

      1. If peanut butter resists dishwashers, it can resist the rain. That’s totally disgusting, but I think it’s grounds as solid proof (literally). It’s only a matter of time before Fluffernutters bind together bridge joints.
      Also useful in pest control and in sticker removal?

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