Heart(attack) Hotel

5 Nov

In between writing a children’s play for my theatre class and the full gamut of Halloween costumes these past two weeks, I’ve been feeling pretty imaginative at best, absurd at the worst. Let’s face it: when Halloween’s on a Wednesday, it pretty much means that a college campus in the South has two weekends of holiday-related ruckus. I’ve seen furry-costumed college kids stumbling home at 10 in the morning, and there’s no shortage of creative outfits at night time.

I love the quirk of Charleston all the time, but it never has as much character as when there’s real characters walking the streets.

With that in mind, I’m thinking of how absurd the food world’s creations can be. Bacon, for some reason, is the king of all creations. Wendy’s Baconator is called a “Fistful of Bacon,” while other fast food chains hop (well maybe not hop) to get a slice of the bacon trend (Denny’s Baconalia and Burger King’s Bacon Caramel Sundae are just a few). Epic Meal time made their career out of the sheer mass of fat it provides, while the gourmet market puts bacon flavors into candied pecans.

I decided to go back to the classics, and what could be more classic than the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll for inspiration? While he’s known for “Love Me Tender,” B-movies of questionable quality, and for the infamous location of his death, Elvis is now recognized for one of his favorite “snacks.” Biscuits and red eye gravy, along with cheeseburgers “any hour of the day,” the King had one sandwich that he couldn’t walk out from. Between two pieces of thick bread, the King liked having slathered peanut butter, sliced bananas, honey, and of course, bacon. What a hunk of burning love.

With my unabashed obsession with peanut butter and a visit to Peanut Butter & Company when I was in New York this summer, I knew I had to give them a whirl, but with some reservations. Specifically, my coronary track.

I substituted a couple of things to make the sandwich (slightly) healthier, including using natural peanut butter, turkey bacon, and downplaying the honey. Though putting some brueleed bananas would have made this Bacchanal (and moreso than Halloween and Denny’s Baconalia), resisting it may have given me a few more years, and a few more songs.

I included this song for snacking. Like the combination of salty and sweet, the King couldn’t stay hidden for long. This is from his 1968 comeback concert:

The buzz from the sugar makes you see things like this.

There’s some other twists I’m curious to try out more of: one of them being a Nutella-based sandwich. My friend and I made grilled Brie sandwiches with Nutella and basil on them. While in conversation, that’s positively disgusting sounding, in application, I think they’re spectacular. The sweetness from the Nutella is perfect for a creamy cheese like Brie, and the basil brings an almost savory element to them.

Trader Joe’s just released a Toscano cheese brushed with cinnamon. By itself, it’s like a snickerdoodle Parmesan, but with Nutella and peach jam, it could be the next best grilled cheese. One of my favorite comfort food dishes when I was little was macaroni and cinnamon butter. I don’t see why the (slightly) grown-up version couldn’t enjoy a reboot. Let’s hope the reboot’s a little bit smoother than the King’s sequin suits.

NOTE: While walking around the bookstore yesterday, I spotted this in the bargain section. Hard to resist.


2 Responses to “Heart(attack) Hotel”

  1. lilyclare November 7, 2012 at 7:00 am #

    You’re making me hungry! There’s a burger place at the Citadel Mall called Sesame and it has a “memphis” burger with peanut butter, bananas, and bacon on it. I tried it, liked it, and am now craving it thanks to your story.


  1. Vega-Tables « Table Scraps - January 30, 2013

    […] Heart(attack) Hotel: Story about another Food-loving (and badly overweight) pop star […]

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